Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Hi friends, it is interesting to see that we has a human being have changed a lot and some time the reason for that change within us is not because of our one self but due to changes taking place in society. We are forced to get adapted to the changes in order to be in the race and to see our own development and growth. But, most of us are forgetting the real and practical part of life; we are becoming more and more mechanical and getting attracted to things which satisfy our wants only for limited period of time. Mean while we are losing lot of precious and valuable part of life and relationship which bond human values.


When I was in school, I still remember when there is some weeding or some functions in our family, I used to plan in advance, see to it that I complete my duty as a student that is completing my study, writing all my home works, planning my leaves etc and would be eagerly waiting for my father plans to attend the wedding. Mean while I would be thinking only about my relative friends whom I  could meet and spend time happily with my aunt, uncle, grand mother, grand father and other relatives. It was the happiest moment of life where we used to weave our relationship be part of happiness and sorrow and support each other and treat ourselves as one family. But, now I am grown up, married and now I see that my kid is loosing access to such time of relationship and bondage. He is more involved in study, computers, video games etc, not getting mingled with relatives and to my surprise I see most of the relatives are now becoming friends. We meet them only when there is a function or some emergency and that too for couple of hours then occasionally we talk over phone and exchange few things but, I am afraid what will the generation after me be? Are we loosing the values and cultural bond which our fore father carried for such a long time? Dont we think that we are spoiling the lives of our own children by not developing interest of bonding relationships? No doubt, each one of us as a father or as a student is working towards survival, but that should not be at the cost of sacrificing of our values and ethos.


 We have a strong culture and relationship bonding which are carried from olden days and our forefathers has laid a strong platform and since we are from the same DNA we need to see that we continue building our family on the same platform and not shifting to a new platform just for achieving some materialistic life.


I would like to share the sour experience of life of a friend, who was a Software engineer and who shared his experience as to what he thought of life when he was young and what he found at last. It is very interesting and pain to hear but it is very good lesson for each one of us. After reading the below bitter experience of our fellow friend, let us at least wake up now and try to learn ourselves and also teach our kids as to what life and relationship means..


A Bitter Reality


 As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA , it was as if a dream had come true.


 Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India .


My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.


 I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down. Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.


Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.


 In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .


 My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.


 After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.


 Every year I decide to go to India But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.


 After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA ...


My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India ... My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.


Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA ... I decided that I had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India ... I had just enough money to buy a decent 2 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.


 Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.


Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this?


 My father, even after staying in India, Had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more. I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM. Looking out from the window I don't see a lot of children. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking if I am alright. Well at least they remember me.


 Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.


 But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'


I am still searching for an answer.................!!!







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  1. i think it is thinking and planning of human is lagging in moral a days people are taking every relationship as a materialistic thing....that is what i see everything in my surroundings and this blog.....but one should appreciate this....really eye opening.....thanks for blogging ur experience sir!!!!

  2. Dear Savarni,

    I also feel that our society is not giving much importance to social or moral values and giving more stress on literacy but not on education..the result is materialist society..I have posted one such experience gathered from the internet..